10 Reasons you're feeling lost and alone.
By: Ismail M Taher
...From time to time, most of us have probably felt a little ‘Lost’, and that feeling can translate into quite different meanings. It may appear in the form of ‘not fitting in’, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, demotivation, loneliness and many other types.
In today’s article, I’ll discuss the top 10 main reasons, in my opinion, why someone could feel lost and disappointed with their lives, as well as the right action to take for each scenario to quickly get yourself out of that black hole of despair.
#1 you’re asking the wrong questions.
Sometimes, when you get overwhelmed with life, you are more likely to fall into the trap of asking the totally wrong questions. To elaborate, you might be asking yourself “Why am I feeling depressed”, or googling “How to cure depression fast”, when in reality, those questions are not only wrong, they’re actually irrelevant.
Asking the right questions means, going back in time, sitting with yourself, clearing out your mind and identifying the root or underlying causes of all your problems and difficulties.
Solution: Ask yourself, WHAT is it about me that make me feel lost? Is it something related to my past? Am I overthinking about the future? Is it related to my dreams and passions? Etc.
#2 you’re different, and unique.
As simple as it may sound, this is actually one of the biggest reasons behind your feeling of loneliness. If you’ve ever felt like you’re ‘weird’, ‘eccentric’ or simply out of place, chances are, you’re one of those truly different and unique human beings.
Those people can struggle from early on their childhood up to their adult years with feelings of loneliness and hopelessness; this is simply due to the fact that their personalities, interests, passions, and lifestyles are very different from what is considered ‘the normal’.
Solution: There is really no way to get rid of those feelings other than simply and completely accepting yourself. By accepting yourself, with all of its flaws, imperfections, and ‘weirdness’, you’re taking concrete steps towards an unshakable self-confidence and a much more peaceful and happier life.
(See my article about the importance of self-acceptance to your growth and development)
#3 you’re smart (A little too smart actually).
It has been established through history that intelligent people showed a tendency to feel lonelier and more lost than the average human being. This is due to the simple fact that smart people typically suffer from chronic overthinking, over-analyzing, and the desire for ‘Perfectionism’.
Hence, smarter people are much more likely to feel lost through life, this is because they spend too much time thinking about everything, including the past and the future, and often become paralyzed with no way to actually be present in the now and enjoy the moment.
Intelligent people also tend to spend a considerable amount of time contemplating life, and entertaining many philosophical and spiritual thoughts that can lead to that feeling of being totally lost.
Solution: Utilize and tame your intelligence in your favor, not the other way around. By recognizing the gift of deep-thinking and intelligence, you’re taking the first step towards eliminating that dreaded feeling of being lost. You have the power to make your intelligence and brain work for you and be under your control, not the opposite way. By focusing your brain power and thought on positive and constructive things, and by totally eliminating any chance of idle, negative, or destructive thoughts, you’ll be much more likely to stop feeling lost or confused through life.
#4 you’re trying to please everyone.
This might be one of the biggest, if not the biggest reason behind feeling lost and confused through life. It’s trying to please everyone. It’s one of the most detrimental mindsets you can ever adopt in your life; the mindset of a ‘people pleaser’; the ‘people pleaser’ is simply a person who spends day and night trying to please everyone, family, friends or society.
Those people tend to be highly insecure, anxious, and self-conscious, and that’s the main reason behind the act of trying to please everyone. The reason why being a people pleaser leads to that feeling of being lost, is because of the simple fact that you can never, and will never be able to please everyone. Hence, people who are always trying to please everyone often come to a halt facing a concrete wall, as they realize they can’t please virtually everyone.
Moreover, being a people pleaser puts you under a tremendous amount of psychological and mental pressure, as well as chronic stress, which eventually leads to the feeling of a burnout, exhaustion, and feeling absolutely lost.
Solution: Stop trying to please everyone, and just be yourself. When you finally allow yourself to be the way were always supposed to be, not only you'll feel much more at peace, but you'll also attract the right people into your life while simultaneously putting off toxic and judgmental people.
#5 you’re trying to ‘fit in’.
One of the most profound and key reasons behind your feeling of being lost, is trying hard, all the time, to fit it, and it’s not at all uncommon. The reason is, all of us, from time to time, have tried to ‘fit in’, and get accepted by our peers, friends, family or the society at whole. This is especially evident during our younger years, when we’re still not mature enough to appreciate our uniqueness and differences.
People who try all the time to act ‘normal’, fit in and be the same as everyone else, are often people who suffer a lot from feelings of hopelessness, disappointment and being lost. It’s because, those people instead of appreciating what makes them unique, they’re too busy chasing those arbitrary standards and focusing on their weaknesses and not their strengths.
solution: Change the conversation, and flip the question you’re currently asking. Instead of asking ‘Why am I not like everybody else’, you should be asking ‘What is it about me that make it so hard for me to fit In and blend in with people?’ Chances are, you’ll discover a lot of hidden strengths about yourself and your personality, and those strengths if properly utilized, can make you even more special, and allow you to stand out from the crowd and leave your own unique impact on the world.
N.B: You might be interested in checking out my blog post about why you can’t fit in.
#6 you’re surrounded by toxic people
If you’re constantly suffering from feelings of hopelessness, confusion and feeling that you’re lost and almost drowning through life, it might be the people around you to blame.
Many people, are surrounded by all sorts of toxic people, those people are called ‘toxic’ for a reason, since they’re that type of people that constantly ridicule you, annoy you, make you feel inadequate, and bring you down. Those kinds of people are extremely destructive to your well-being and mental health, and they might be behind your feelings of being ‘lost’.
Since most toxic people often come disguised as ‘well-wishers’ or people that care about you, they’re often hard to spot, but their impact nevertheless is colossal.
Solution: Ask yourself, Are you surrounded by people that love you unconditionally, make you feel accepted and appreciated, and people who bring you up, support you, and help you become the best version of yourself?
If the answer is a ‘NO’, it’s time to reconsider your relationship with the people who are the closest to your circle. It even becomes necessary to cut some people of, if they’re not conducive to your well-being and inner-peace.
#7 you’re struggling with your ‘why’.
If you’re currently struggling to answer that question: “What is my purpose here on earth”, chances are, that is one of the biggest reasons behind feeling lost. Many people are still struggling every day, unknowing what their purpose is, and being torn between tens or hundreds of different ideas, goals, aspirations, dreams or even career paths.
If you’re unsure about your purpose here on this planet, and often struggle with feelings of worthlessness and demotivation, you’re probably locking yourself in a never ending cycle of overthinking, over-analyzing, and paralyzing lack of any constructive action.
Solution: IDEAS ARE THE ENEMY! Stop thinking about a million different idea, goals, or dreams. You’re never forced to continue doing anything you don’t enjoy. So, the only way to break that cycle is ACTION.
By starting and doing, you’re giving yourself a new and profound meaning. Even if you’re totally unsure about what you want to spend your life doing, you won’t ever be ‘sure’ unless you try, and the more things you try, the higher chance you’ll eventually find something you like and are truly passionate about.
#8 you’re not confident enough.
Another key aspect you need to be aware of is ‘self-confidence’. People, who suffer from high levels of self-consciousness and low levels of self-confidence, are much more prone to the feeling of being lost.
It’s simply because a strong self-confidence and self-acceptance are crucial to any sort of personal growth and development.
You need to start asking yourself, ‘Am I confident enough in myself and my abilities?’, if the answer is NO, You need to ask yourself ‘Why’ you suffer from low self-confidence. Is it because past traumas, present problems, or future worries?
Only you can answer this question.
Solution: If you’re serious about building an unbreakable self-confidence from total scratch, you might want to check my in-detail guide that will take you through all the necessary steps.
#9 you’re suffering.
It’s one of the most important reasons behind your feelings of being lost, its suffering, and being locked in an endless chain of pain and traumas.
Many people struggle with different types of suffering, and sometimes it might actually be traced back to their pasts. Those people, suffer on a daily bases from feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness and complete disappointment.
The true reasons behind your suffering might be related to your past, or present traumas, or mental health problems. If you’re currently struggling through depression, anxiety or any other mental illness, it’s advisable that you seek help immediately. Mental health treatment is often successful and can totally change your life.
Solution: If you’re interested in finding out the true reasons behind your suffering and the 5-step formula to eliminate suffering from your life once and for all, I recommend checking my guide here.
10# a combination of the above reasons.
Most of the time, it’s rarely that you can trace all your feelings of being lost to just one reason or a single factor. Most of the time, your current feelings are actually a product of a mixture of the previous reasons or at least some of them.
It’s now time to work, grab a good old piece of paper and a handy pen. Sit down, relax, and take a deep breath. Ask yourself the right questions, and for a second time go through all the previous reasons we’ve mentioned above. Chances are, you’ll be able to figure out what is REALLY wrong with you, as well as identify the core reasons behind your current negative feelings.
Once you've identified them, the hardest part of the work will already be done, it's now the time to start tackling your problems and overcoming them. You can stay tuned for future value-packed articles helping you live the best life possible by subscribing to our email list here, as well as following us on social media.
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By Ismail M Taher...
Ismail is an novelist, blogger and entrepreneur from Cairo, Egypt. Since a very young age, Ismail has been described as an introverted old-soul who is passionate about arts, philosophy, travel, business and most importantly, leaving an impact in life. At the age of 18, Ismail wrote and published his first mental health novel 'Cherophobia', and later the same year he switched majors from medicine to study something he's deeply passionate about, business. Ismail created this blog to help everyone on their pursuit of happiness, fulfillment and inner peace. He is currently residing in Egypt, with big goals of traveling the entire globe. Beside this blog, he's currently working on both fiction and nonfiction books. You can learn more about him and/or get in touch using the 'About' section of the website.